So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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