I'm jealous of your bromance
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
