Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
