You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
North Korea, Best Korea!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
