You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
