Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
