I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
