Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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