Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
