found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize