I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize