isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
