she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize