If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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