Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
