I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
