whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
