Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
