The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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