i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You made out with two different species that night
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
