Will you blow on my dice?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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