THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
