Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
