You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
