Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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