I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
