Just mADE A PArabola og urine
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize