I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Congratulations! We have a period
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