Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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