i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I skipped work to stalk him.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
now i know why i became what i already was.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
