More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
