The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize