You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I feel like abortions should bother me more
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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