Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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