I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
