plz talk dirty to me
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
