Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
