Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
