Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
