The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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