hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm at about main and main street
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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