I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
