Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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