My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
