i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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