ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
