My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
