College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize