Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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