if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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