so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
