I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
