I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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