he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
