i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
