my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
