i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
