Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
YAS. BRING CRAB.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
