You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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