we have pet lesbian snakes
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i've created a new STD.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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