ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
