So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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