last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
