Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
