I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize