So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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